A tradition as old as time.

Step 1: Answer a wish in a monkeys-paw fashion.

Step 2: Make a wish.

I wish for the return of the Corrupt Wish Fountain thread.

Your wish is granted. The tread returns, but Dicondylia shows up with a cursed second wish...

I wish everyone was covered in ants :)

Your wish is granted!! ... But- everyone is now covered in ants on a log?

I wish I never had to worry about money again :D

Your wish is granted! The global economy collapses, and all money loses its value. There is chaos in the streets. Governments fall, and warlords rise. Billionaires are eaten in the early days, but with the fall of the global economy, billions starve.

I wish I wasn't lactose intolerant. :(

Your wish is granted! You are now able to produce the enzyme lactase, however you are now deathly allergic to milk in all of its forms from any animal.

I wish my eyes stopped randomly hurting </3

Your wish is granted! Your eyes now hurt all the time, because you have pinkeye forever.

I wish I had the ability to change shape at will.

Your wish is granted!  You can change square blocks into round blocks at will.

I wish I had 20 dollars more than I do now.

Wish granted! You and 340 million more Americans get 20 dollars instantly. 

I wish I had a bowl of soup.

Wish granted. This man https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jeff_Suppan is ground into a find paste and presented to you in a very large bowl.

I wish that I had a firmer sense of my self and my goals.

You do so, but you sadly become so actualized that you develop a god complex

I wish I could draw everyday of my life :D